Abysmal Working Conditions- When Pigeons Attack

I always get to work early so I can maintain my visa requirement of twenty hours a week, but today I was the very first person in the office.

I heard a unsettling fluttering sound and a cooing not unlike a winged rat coming from the conference room, but thought nothing of it as I tried to get my internet connection to work.

Suddenly… there was a pigeon on my desk.

A. Freaking. Pigeon.

Just chilling, and flapping around, and being terrifying.

If you didn’t know, I have a deep and abiding fear of birds stemming from the time I was assaulted by a goose as a child. Perhaps that background information is necessary to grasp the full horror of this situation.

Eventually someone wandered in who I pounced on and made call someone, anyone, who could rectify this awful situation.

The guys who work in the warehouse (the Murad office is located in the loft above the Murad warehouse, conveniently enough) found the entire situation hilarious and spent three quarters an hour chasing the foul beast from one rafter to another and throwing jackets at it before concluding that nothing could be done.

When my supervisor arrived I informed her that I was terribly sorry but could not possibly work under these circumstances. She understood and told me to accompany the marketing intern on her adventure to Harrod’s to investigate the Murad counter there and the sales strategies of the other brands.

Bet you didn’t know there was a fitness studio in Harrod’s. Or a life size wax figure of the owner on a pedestal. Or no less than three different escalator areas, one of which is Egypt themed.

When we got back, the pigeon was gone.

Pest Control shot it and tried to clean it up but there were still bits of feathers all over my desk.

That is all.